Key’s Top Ten

Written By: - Date published: 12:15 pm, September 25th, 2009 - 57 comments
Categories: brand key - Tags:

Obviously, the most important thing ever is how John Key did on Letterman.

It’s quite cute actually, Key’s clearly a bit nervous standing out on the big stage. It really does remind you that we’re a little country. But Letterman’s very nice, although he does forget why Key’s there for a moment. He knows we’re near Tasmania but not what ocean that’s in.

It’s funny how Key Americanises his accent, hard r and a twang. As a lot of people who’ve lived overseas will know, the easiest way to make our accent intelligible is to do the American r and Key’s lived in New York, of course. He’s still quite hard to understand though.

The Top ten are quite good:

57 comments on “Key’s Top Ten ”

  1. Bright Red 1

    huh. I thought there would be an interview. Seems kind of weird just to come on to do the Top Ten.

    Still, well done the writers, some of them are funny.

  2. gobsmacked 2

    Pretty average Top Ten, considering their team of writers (not Key’s fault). But nobody knows anything about NZ in NY, so not much to work with.

    Watch 7 days on TV3 tonight, for better (and dirtier) Kiwi jokes.

  3. IrishBill 3

    Oh for christ’s sake. I thought he was getting an interview too. Reading the top ten is the kind of thing they get Brittany Spears to do in a bikini. Without an interview it’s a freakshow spot. Key has no dignity.

  4. gobsmacked 4

    What makes me laugh is all this “great exposure for NZ tourism” hype.

    So the audience is told it’s a 20 hour flight. Thanks!

    (Incidentally, the real boost for NZ tourism came from screen successes from the likes of Lord of the Rings and Whale Rider and Conchords … bloody arty-farty types with funding from the back office bureaucrats)

    • Tim Ellis 4.1

      GS, I don’t think Lord of the Rings or flight of the conchords were funded by New Zealand bureaucrats.

      • gobsmacked 4.1.1

        FYI Tim:

        “Investment New Zealand, Tourism New Zealand, Wellington City Council and New Zealand Trade and Enterprise were involved in the world premiere of The Lord of The Rings: The Return of The King in Wellington in December 2003 and in worldwide publicity and leveraging of the event.

        Their contribution was endorsed when Director Peter Jackson thanked the New Zealand Government and local councils in his speech at the Oscars® ceremony.”

        You might recall those Oscar speeches, Tim, and Billy Crystal’s running commentary (“It’s offical, everyone in New Zealand has now been thanked”). Without exaggeration, those several years of publicity had approximately one thousand times the global impact of a single spot on Letterman.

      • felix 4.1.2

        Then you’d be wrong.

        Actually a lot of money was spent by NZ bureaucrats throughout the careers of the creators of both LOTR and FOTC to get them to a position where they were able to able to play on the international stage.

      • Bright Red 4.1.3

        Tim. You’re really off your game today. Wayne will be breathing down your neck.

        Lord of the Rings got up to $200 million in tax breaks.

      • Rob 4.1.4

        You are exactly correct, they only started funding once they realised it was going to be huge. There was no seeding or any other start up money gifted. The back office types were more focussed upon investing in other releases which we cannot remember now…oh yeah I think “Perfect Strangers” was one, I went to to the premier of it and it pretty much went straight to video, but that is another story.

        • felix 4.1.4.1

          You do realise LOTR wasn’t Peter’s first film, don’t you?

          • Rob 4.1.4.1.1

            Wow, that is news , you mean he did other things before LOTR. I thought he just convinced a major studio to let him go to town on a legendary piece of fiction that they had paid millions to secure the film rights on…..

            • felix 4.1.4.1.1.1

              The point being that in NZ, creative enterprises don’t get to that level without a metric shit-ton of funding and assistance over many, many years.

              Which is why the original comment from gobsmacked holds water and the disingenuous reply from “Tim Ellis” doesn’t.

              Thanks for helping me make the point.

  5. felix 5

    You can see why he compares himself to Obama, can’t you?

  6. Tigger 6

    New Zealand is a wonderland…

    Not for long – wait until Gerry mines the crap out of the countryside…there’ll be nothing left to wonder about…

  7. ak 7

    Talk about lame. Best opportunity ever to promote NZ and the slippery tongue gets stage fright. A step down from wooden, must have been the rent-a-crowd. “Why is he here Paul?”

    Lines obviously written by Key’s people – reeking of geekish right-wing wit vacuum – and the No 1 best they could do? “Unlike the rest of the world we still like americans”

    Say whaaat? Needy mixed messages or what…..

  8. Wackey Leftie 8

    What a let down.

    I squirmed a little at the “loosest slot machines in the Pacific”

    I did laugh at a few others, but a bit of a poor showing.

  9. Seti 9

    The Top 10 on Letterman has always been lame. A chuckle is very seldom when I manage to catch it. Definitely wasn’t expecting any real knee-slappers, as some clearly were.

    At least a couple of million Mericans now know we’re English speaking

  10. Daveski 10

    Not as bad as I expect … and I was talking about the Standard’s view of the “event”.

    Actually, eddie’s quite fair for once. I do agree it’s nothing to get excited about but any PR is better than none.

  11. richard 11

    I correctly predicted a month ago that they would need to use subtitles. Still he didn’t embarass himself, so I suppose no harm done. Hardly the mega-exposure opportunity that it was hyped as though.

  12. StephenR 12

    He came across very positively and friendly – Americans love NZers already, if nothing else this will probably reinforce that perception.

  13. Zaphod Beeblebrox 13

    Can he get a spot on John Stewart? That would be funny.

  14. Ianmac 14

    Having often watched Letterman I thought that in this case he was pretty off-hand with Key. I felt a bit sorry for Key actually.

  15. bobo 15

    Like it at the end where Letterman almost says New England 🙂

  16. Tim Ellis 16

    I agree Eddie it was a reasonable performance.

    The top 10 is a soft spot that’s meant to be light hearted.

  17. felix 17

    Just to be clear:

    When people talk about the “PR value” of this little excersise do they mean it’s good PR for Key, aimed at us back here in NZ?

    Or do people actually think there’s some value for us in having our PM giggling like a tongue-tied schoolgirl on an international TV show?

  18. exbrethren 19

    11. For a nostalgia trip come and visit a country where the current leader struggles with English.

  19. willaspish 20

    The politics, lifestyle and entertainment sections of the NZ MSM have just morphed into one big, fat, dumbed-down Sunday supplement. Doesn’t this guy have a proper job he should be doing?

    Go back to bed NZ, your government is in control.

    • BLiP 20.1

      Yep – the trade deficit is $725 million worse than expected and the Aussie banks are about to put New Zealand into liquidation.

      But, hey, The Goober was on US television so who cares about little things like the economy so long as we’ve got all these lovely warm fuzzies?

  20. greenfly 21

    Loosest slot machines in the Pacific? Come on guys, you’re pulling my chain!
    You know it’s a reference to our women!
    Go John Key, ya pimp!

  21. Victor 22

    just watched the show here in NY .. .

    Other leaders to get mention, Gadaffi and Ahmadinejad . ..

    After Key was done, and commercials on quitting smoking, Letterman then subsequently went onto introduce Craig Ferguson as the first ‘guest’. .. .So what was John Key?

    Without being a wet blanket, it was a touch demeaning .. .Should be a ‘guest’ or nothing. And if not a guest, one comes across as a bit of a clown .. .

  22. Anthony Karinski 24

    For once I got to say that JK probably did a better job than HC would have done.

  23. Deemac 25

    not sure it’s tactful to point out most people in the world hate your hosts!

  24. deWithiel 26

    Well, it is possible to put all this Key in New York stuff into a certain perspective just by looking at, oh, I don’t know, maybe what the New York papers report: http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/09/24/obamas-red-carpet-up-close-and-personal/?hp
    Funny that; no mention of our very own grinning clown.

  25. Irascible 27

    Off key, off the screen, cringe-making and a tribute to spin that the NZ media thought this was an important and high key part of the trip to NY. Tom Scott had it right. Key is a political clown.

  26. I cannot understand how Key made so much money.The Guys an overgrown kid. however I have worked bloody hard all my working life .I dont drink and I dont smoke My wifeand I own a modest house and I now live on the Super,Nothing wrong with that but I look at what Key has and I wonder how it is so ?
    Regardless, we in Aotearoa are now condemed to being ruled by a Right-Wing government led by an over excited inmature man.
    He’s government is becoming boged down with bumbing and sleaze. A good example is the rorts being carried out by English. We still have no idea why Worth was sacked will we ever.? Then dispite the outrage we had from National regarding the overspending at the last election the Nats still have not paid the GST they owe the taxe department . When will that be paid if ever and how much longer are these bandits going to enjoy there undeserved honey-moon.

    • BLiP 28.1

      Basically, John Key was a part of the crew which looted Thailand and set off the 1997 Asian Economic Crisis. You can see his $50 million was actually just chump change when you learn the actual amounts involved.

      It is believed that financial speculators, led by some hedge funds, were responsible for the original “trigger action” in Thailand. The Thai government used up over US$20 billion of foreign reserves to ward off speculative attacks. Speculators are believed to have borrowed and sold Thai baht, receiving US dollars in exchange.

      If you’re looking for details and a good place to start checking the facts, start here. Wait till you see what they’ve got in store for New Zealand.

    • gitmo 28.2

      “boged down with bumbing and sleaze”

      Ha ha ha ha ha comedy gold.

      Though on a more serious note clearly key is Satan or at the very least Beezlebub.

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Defence industry talent, commitment recognised
    Defence Minister Judith Collins tonight announced the recipients of the Minister of Defence Awards of Excellence for Industry, saying they all contribute to New Zealanders’ security and wellbeing. “Congratulations to this year’s recipients, whose innovative products and services play a critical role in the delivery of New Zealand’s defence capabilities, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 hours ago
  • Speech to the Minister of Defence Awards of Excellence for Industry
    Welcome to you all - it is a pleasure to be here this evening.I would like to start by thanking Greg Lowe, Chair of the New Zealand Defence Industry Advisory Council, for co-hosting this reception with me. This evening is about recognising businesses from across New Zealand and overseas who in ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 hours ago
  • Speech to the Sixth Annual New Zealand Government Data Summit
    It is a pleasure to be speaking to you as the Minister for Digitising Government.  I would like to thank Akolade for the invitation to address this Summit, and to acknowledge the great effort you are making to grow New Zealand’s digital future. Today, we stand at the cusp of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 hours ago
  • Ceasefire agreement needed now: Peters
    New Zealand is urging both Israel and Hamas to agree to an immediate ceasefire to avoid the further humanitarian catastrophe that military action in Rafah would unleash, Foreign Minister Winston Peters says.   “The immense suffering in Gaza cannot be allowed to worsen further. Both sides have a responsibility to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    12 hours ago
  • Daily school attendance data now available
    A new online data dashboard released today as part of the Government’s school attendance action plan makes more timely daily attendance data available to the public and parents, says Associate Education Minister David Seymour.  The interactive dashboard will be updated once a week to show a national average of how ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    13 hours ago
  • Ambassador to United States appointed
    Foreign Minister Winston Peters has announced Rosemary Banks will be New Zealand’s next Ambassador to the United States of America.    “Our relationship with the United States is crucial for New Zealand in strategic, security and economic terms,” Mr Peters says.    “New Zealand and the United States have a ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    16 hours ago
  • New permit proposed for recreational gold mining
    The Government is considering creating a new tier of minerals permitting that will make it easier for hobby miners to prospect for gold. “New Zealand was built on gold, it’s in our DNA. Our gold deposits, particularly in regions such as Otago and the West Coast have always attracted fortune-hunters. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    17 hours ago
  • NZ and the UAE launch FTA negotiations
    Minister for Trade Todd McClay today announced that New Zealand and the United Arab Emirates (UAE) will commence negotiations on a free trade agreement (FTA). Minister McClay met with his counterpart UAE Trade Minister Dr Thani bin Ahmed Al Zeyoudi in Dubai, where they announced the launch of negotiations on a ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    21 hours ago
  • New Zealand Sign Language Week an opportunity for anyone to sign
    New Zealand Sign Language Week is an excellent opportunity for all Kiwis to give the language a go, Disabilities Issues Minister Louise Upston says. This week (May 6 to 12) is New Zealand Sign Language (NZSL) Week. The theme is “an Aotearoa where anyone can sign anywhere” and aims to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Next stop NASA for New Zealand students
    Six tertiary students have been selected to work on NASA projects in the US through a New Zealand Space Scholarship, Space Minister Judith Collins announced today. “This is a fantastic opportunity for these talented students. They will undertake internships at NASA’s Ames Research Center or its Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL), where ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • $1.9 billion investment to keep NZ safe from crime
    New Zealanders will be safer because of a $1.9 billion investment in more frontline Corrections officers, more support for offenders to turn away from crime, and more prison capacity, Corrections Minister Mark Mitchell says. “Our Government said we would crack down on crime. We promised to restore law and order, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • OECD reinforces need to control spending
    The OECD’s latest report on New Zealand reinforces the importance of bringing Government spending under control, Finance Minister Nicola Willis says. The OECD conducts country surveys every two years to review its members’ economic policies. The 2024 New Zealand survey was presented in Wellington today by OECD Chief Economist Clare Lombardelli.   ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Agreement delivers Local Water Done Well for Auckland
    The Government has delivered on its election promise to provide a financially sustainable model for Auckland under its Local Water Done Well plan. The plan, which has been unanimously endorsed by Auckland Council’s Governing Body, will see Aucklanders avoid the previously projected 25.8 per cent water rates increases while retaining ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Gaza and the Pacific on the agenda with Germany
    Foreign Minister Winston Peters discussed the need for an immediate ceasefire in Gaza, and enhanced cooperation in the Pacific with German Foreign Minister Annalena Baerbock during her first official visit to New Zealand today.    "New Zealand and Germany enjoy shared interests and values, including the rule of law, democracy, respect for the international system ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Decision allows for housing growth in Western Bay of Plenty
    The Minister Responsible for RMA Reform, Chris Bishop today released his decision on four recommendations referred to him by the Western Bay of Plenty District Council, opening the door to housing growth in the area. The Council’s Plan Change 92 allows more homes to be built in existing and new ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Speech to New Zealand China Council
    Thank you, John McKinnon and the New Zealand China Council for the invitation to speak to you today.    Thank you too, all members of the China Council. Your effort has played an essential role in helping to build, shape, and grow a balanced and resilient relationship between our two ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Modern insurance law will protect Kiwi households
    The Government is modernising insurance law to better protect Kiwis and provide security in the event of a disaster, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly announced today. “These reforms are long overdue. New Zealand’s insurance law is complicated and dated, some of which is more than 100 years old. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Government recommits to equal pay
    The coalition Government is refreshing its approach to supporting pay equity claims as time-limited funding for the Pay Equity Taskforce comes to an end, Public Service Minister Nicola Willis says.  “Three years ago, the then-government introduced changes to the Equal Pay Act to support pay equity bargaining. The changes were ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Transforming how our children learn to read
    Structured literacy will change the way New Zealand children learn to read - improving achievement and setting students up for success, Education Minister Erica Stanford says.  “Being able to read and write is a fundamental life skill that too many young people are missing out on. Recent data shows that ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • NZ not backing down in Canada dairy dispute
    Trade Minister Todd McClay says Canada’s refusal to comply in full with a CPTPP trade dispute ruling in our favour over dairy trade is cynical and New Zealand has no intention of backing down. Mr McClay said he has asked for urgent legal advice in respect of our ‘next move’ ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Stronger oversight for our most vulnerable children
    The rights of our children and young people will be enhanced by changes the coalition Government will make to strengthen oversight of the Oranga Tamariki system, including restoring a single Children’s Commissioner. “The Government is committed to delivering better public services that care for our most at-risk young people and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Streamlining Building Consent Changes
    The Government is making it easier for minor changes to be made to a building consent so building a home is easier and more affordable, Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk says.      “The coalition Government is focused on making it easier and cheaper to build homes so we can ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Minister acknowledges passing of Sir Robert Martin (KNZM)
    New Zealand lost a true legend when internationally renowned disability advocate Sir Robert Martin (KNZM) passed away at his home in Whanganui last night, Disabilities Issues Minister Louise Upston says. “Our Government’s thoughts are with his wife Lynda, family and community, those he has worked with, the disability community in ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Speech to New Zealand Institute of International Affairs, Parliament – Annual Lecture: Challenges ...
    Good evening –   Before discussing the challenges and opportunities facing New Zealand’s foreign policy, we’d like to first acknowledge the New Zealand Institute of International Affairs. You have contributed to debates about New Zealand foreign policy over a long period of time, and we thank you for hosting us.  ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Accelerating airport security lines
    From today, passengers travelling internationally from Auckland Airport will be able to keep laptops and liquids in their carry-on bags for security screening thanks to new technology, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says. “Creating a more efficient and seamless travel experience is important for holidaymakers and businesses, enabling faster movement through ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Community hui to talk about kina barrens
    People with an interest in the health of Northland’s marine ecosystems are invited to a public meeting to discuss how to deal with kina barrens, Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones says. Mr Jones will lead the discussion, which will take place on Friday, 10 May, at Awanui Hotel in ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Kiwi exporters win as NZ-EU FTA enters into force
    Kiwi exporters are $100 million better off today with the NZ EU FTA entering into force says Trade Minister Todd McClay. “This is all part of our plan to grow the economy. New Zealand's prosperity depends on international trade, making up 60 per cent of the country’s total economic activity. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Mining resurgence a welcome sign
    There are heartening signs that the extractive sector is once again becoming an attractive prospect for investors and a source of economic prosperity for New Zealand, Resources Minister Shane Jones says. “The beginnings of a resurgence in extractive industries are apparent in media reports of the sector in the past ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Ō-Rākau Remembrance Bill passes first reading
    The return of the historic Ō-Rākau battle site to the descendants of those who fought there moved one step closer today with the first reading of Te Pire mō Ō-Rākau, Te Pae o Maumahara / The Ō-Rākau Remembrance Bill. The Bill will entrust the 9.7-hectare battle site, five kilometres west ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Government to boost public EV charging network
    Energy Minister Simeon Brown has announced 25 new high-speed EV charging hubs along key routes between major urban centres and outlined the Government’s plan to supercharge New Zealand’s EV infrastructure.  The hubs will each have several chargers and be capable of charging at least four – and up to 10 ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Residential Property Managers Bill to not progress
    The coalition Government will not proceed with the previous Government’s plans to regulate residential property managers, Housing Minister Chris Bishop says. “I have written to the Chairperson of the Social Services and Community Committee to inform him that the Government does not intend to support the Residential Property Managers Bill ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Independent review into disability support services
    The Government has announced an independent review into the disability support system funded by the Ministry of Disabled People – Whaikaha. Disability Issues Minister Louise Upston says the review will look at what can be done to strengthen the long-term sustainability of Disability Support Services to provide disabled people and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Justice Minister updates UN on law & order plan
    Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith has attended the Universal Periodic Review in Geneva and outlined the Government’s plan to restore law and order. “Speaking to the United Nations Human Rights Council provided us with an opportunity to present New Zealand’s human rights progress, priorities, and challenges, while responding to issues and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Ending emergency housing motels in Rotorua
    The Government and Rotorua Lakes Council are committed to working closely together to end the use of contracted emergency housing motels in Rotorua. Associate Minister of Housing (Social Housing) Tama Potaka says the Government remains committed to ending the long-term use of contracted emergency housing motels in Rotorua by the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Trade Minister travels to Riyadh, OECD, and Dubai
    Trade Minister Todd McClay heads overseas today for high-level trade talks in the Gulf region, and a key OECD meeting in Paris. Mr McClay will travel to Riyadh to meet with counterparts from Saudi Arabia and the Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC). “New Zealand’s goods and services exports to the Gulf region ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Education priorities focused on lifting achievement
    Education Minister Erica Stanford has outlined six education priorities to deliver a world-leading education system that sets Kiwi kids up for future success. “I’m putting ambition, achievement and outcomes at the heart of our education system. I want every child to be inspired and engaged in their learning so they ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • NZTA App first step towards digital driver licence
    The new NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) App is a secure ‘one stop shop’ to provide the services drivers need, Transport Minister Simeon Brown and Digitising Government Minister Judith Collins say.  “The NZTA App will enable an easier way for Kiwis to pay for Vehicle Registration and Road User Charges (RUC). ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Supporting whānau out of emergency housing
    Whānau with tamariki growing up in emergency housing motels will be prioritised for social housing starting this week, says Associate Housing Minister Tama Potaka. “Giving these whānau a better opportunity to build healthy stable lives for themselves and future generations is an essential part of the Government’s goal of reducing ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Tribute to Dave O'Sullivan
    Racing Minister Winston Peters has paid tribute to an icon of the industry with the recent passing of Dave O’Sullivan (OBE). “Our sympathies are with the O’Sullivan family with the sad news of Dave O’Sullivan’s recent passing,” Mr Peters says. “His contribution to racing, initially as a jockey and then ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Speech – Eid al-Fitr
    Assalaamu alaikum, greetings to you all. Eid Mubarak, everyone! I want to extend my warmest wishes to you and everyone celebrating this joyous occasion. It is a pleasure to be here. I have enjoyed Eid celebrations at Parliament before, but this is my first time joining you as the Minister ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago

Page generated in The Standard by Wordpress at 2024-05-07T13:37:37+00:00